by Esther Ra
Poetry
the art of disappearance is easy to craft & words distance
as well as describe white keys bruise bloom every
blessing & blow a surprise I had yet to name all of my
tears my eyes are still flooded with childhood & I
am not the quickest of learners I chew on pebbles
as if they were sand I mistook myself [again] as a savior
I mother my mother I hide from my father how hard
to unsmog every window today I label each wound
with blue tape I mark miraculous rabbit holes down
I mean what I say but don’t say what I mean which is to say
I’m still learning still young still hopelessly lost
O God are you here in this dreamland of dormice
and murderous queens or are you just a rosegarden
slathered in red paint O a cat without grin | a grin without cat
I see the bright smile not the claws & my friend—
how are girls mad & courageous enough to still love
after this all this after men [eat me to enter]
no door is worth all this shrinking & I’ll be here
though Wonderland fade goodbye whiteknight
goodbye dear old friend every unbirthday
I tremble & toast with tealeaf every day
I am mad wonderful & reborn
Esther Ra is the author of book of untranslatable things (Grayson Books, 2018), which received first place in the 2018 Grayson Books Chapbook Contest. Her work has also been published in Rattle, The Scriblerus, and Consequence Magazine, where her poetry received the 2017 Women Writing War Poetry Award. She alternates between Washington and her home in Seoul, South Korea.